


Small Pebbles, Big Waves

by KaibaSlaveGirl34



Series: Buffy Stories and Oneshots [9]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Community: comment_fic, Diary/Journal, Don't Have to Know Canon, Drama, Epistolary, F/M, POV Alternating, POV Female Character, POV First Person, POV Male Character, Romance, Very Secret Diary, Wordcount: Under 10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-27
Updated: 2012-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-25 00:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaibaSlaveGirl34/pseuds/KaibaSlaveGirl34
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. What if Dawn was <strong>really</strong> Buffy's sister...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dawn’s Diary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Harry2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harry2/gifts).



> This story, [Small Pebbles, Big Waves](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4131958/1/Small_Pebbles_Big_Waves) belongs to my friend [Sobriety](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/51120/Sobriety/), who said I could post it on here. :)
> 
> Disclaimers
> 
> Legal: All characters are (c) Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and probably a whole mess of other people. No infringement of copyright is intended.
> 
> Archive: Mailing lists, go right ahead. Anyone else, yes, but please let me know.
> 
> Spoilers: it's AU, but there are references to everything through to "Wild At Heart" in this part, and to the end of season 4 in the fic as a whole.
> 
> Rating: PG-13
> 
> Summary: This is a response to YGTS? Challenge #111, but the main thing you need to know is that in this AU, Dawn is really Buffy's sister, not the Key.
> 
> Note: Parts One and Three are Dawn's diary. Part Two is Oz POV.  
> ~[Sobriety](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/51120/Sobriety/)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn’s Diary, Part 1..

_From the Desk of Dawn Summers_

Hi Nicki,

Do you like the new stationery? I think Mom got it for me to make up for having to move to Crappydale because of my sister the Psycho Beast.

We’ve only been here two weeks, and I already hate it. It’s SO boring. Nothing happens here. And I hate my school, too. Half the kids at Elementary have brothers and sisters at the High School, so they’ve all heard about MY sister, the Freak, and none of them will talk to me.

Of course SHE already has friends. There’s Willow, who’s really nice. And Xander, who’s just a dreamboat. He’s totally cuter than Leo di Caprio. It sucks that he is so into Buffy, but of course she doesn’t see it. All those tight tops are cutting off the oxygen to her brain.

There’s also this weird librarian guy at her school that she’s always hanging out with. This one girl at school was like ‘Oh your sister’s getting with the book guy’ and I was ‘No way’, cuz my sister may be a nut case slut bomb, but this guy’s like a hundred. Gross.

Tell everyone I said Hi. I miss you guys. I miss LA.

D.

_**This is the PRIVATE Journal of Dawn Summers. NO SNOOPING.  
BUFFY - that means YOU.**_

* * *

Willow’s got a boyfriend! His name is OZ, and he is totally cool. He’s a musician and he plays guitar. And he dyes his hair all kinds of funky colours. He’s not as cute as Xander, but I really like him. He doesn’t treat me like a kid, not like Buffy. And he makes me laugh. He’s just got this look that he does, and it makes me giggle every time.

Willow invited him to Buffy’s surprise party and it was SO cool ’cause Buffy burst in fighting this guy and then she stabbed him and he went to dust! And Willow says ‘Vampires are real.’ and Oz was just like ‘That makes sense.’! I was totally doing what he was doing, too. Well, once I got done with the screaming anyway.

I can’t believe that my sister is the one who has to go out there and kill all these vampires and stuff. I mean, Xander would be so much a better choice. Or me. That would rock, cuz my name is 'Dawn’ and sunlight kills vampires. I mean, 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer’? What kind of moron came up with that!

AND she made me promise not to tell Mom. That bites.

* * *

Oz was showing me how to play the guitar today. That was really cool, though it hurt my fingers a bit to reach all the strings. He said that I played better than he did, though. He’s so funny.

I know he’s doing it to try and keep me from asking about Angel, but at least he doesn’t treat me like a kid when he does it. All Buffy will tell me is to run away if I see him, and Xander’s too busy sucking face with Cordelia to say anything.

Xander only even likes her because she has big boobs. Oz isn’t like that.

* * *

Mom’s really upset because Buffy is still gone. She won’t let me leave the house, almost. Typical Buffy. Even when she isn’t here she still stuffs things up.

I miss her.

* * *

Buffy came back today.

I haven’t been writing in here much, I guess. Only four times in three months. I haven’t really felt like it. Summer’s not the same without a sister to fight with, though everyone has been trying really hard to make me feel better. Last week, Oz was telling me about this fight they had with a vampire. He’s so funny, the way he tells them is totally different to anyone else. Xander or Willow tell good stories too, with lots of growly noises and play-acting, but Oz always does something different. This time he told it as a 'Haiku’, which he said is a type of Japanese poem. I wrote it down so I would remember it:

_The vampire rises_

_It flees, beset by hunters_

_A thrown stake flies wide_

That is so cool. I think it is great how brainy Oz is, but he doesn’t make a big deal of it.

Can you tell I don’t want to write about Buffy? Things have been really weird at home since she got back. Not ‘weird’ Vampire Slayer weird, just ‘weird’ intense. Mom’s watching her like a hawk, frightened she’ll run off again, I guess. And I feel all spacey, like I can’t quite get that she’s back yet.

It’s weird having to wait to use the bathroom again.

* * *

They totally had sex.

Mom and Giles, that is. Buffy hasn’t worked it out yet. She’s so dumb. Or maybe she was just too busy sneaking off to notice anything else. I wish I could follow her and see what she was up to, but Mom would ground me forever if I went out at night. Ever since she found out about vampires she’s become the Curfew Lady, which totally sucks.

Except last night, that is. Last night Mom said I could go anywhere I liked, as long as I got out of her hair. I was upset at first, but then I realised something weird was going on, because all the adults were acting totally stupid. Buffy told me later that they all ate this magic candy that made them act like teenagers. Really dumb teenagers, if you ask me.

And for the record — Mom as a teenager? Totally a tramp. Now I know where Buffy gets her taste in clothes. Eww.

* * *

I was at Willow’s house last night in an attempt to get away from Buffy and her ‘Battle to be Homecoming Queen’. Well, that and Xander was going to be there to try on his tux. No way I was missing that!

Of course, I didn’t get to see anything, because he kept hiding behind this screen to get changed, but I had a really good time. They were giggling and telling stories about when they were five. Plus Xander kept messing up his bow tie. I had to help him with it eventually.

Willow’s dress was great. Xander just said it was ‘nice’, but we all know about his dress sense! Oz will really like it. I bet he even smiles.

* * *

Spike came back to town! He has such cool hair.

Anyway, he came in the house and was all going to bite Mom but then Buffy came in and kicked his butt! And Angel was there which was really weird because I thought he was dead. But at least it explains why Buffy was sneaking off all the time. They’ve probably been sucking face every day since she got back.

Then Spike said he had Willow and Buffy had to help him or she would die. So Buffy did. If I was her, I would have just beat it out of him. For a Vampire Slayer, she can be really dumb.

* * *

Buffy’s been acting even weirder than usual.

First she wouldn’t stop talking about Faith. I didn’t even think she liked her, and then suddenly they were all best friends and stuff.

But the last couple of days she has been totally freaky; jumpy all the time. And then these cops came over and asked her about some guy getting killed. Buffy only kills vampires!

I hope things are OK. I might have been sick of hearing Faith’s name (though she is pretty cool), but things actually seemed pretty good there for a little while. Not the usual sob-fest that is Buffy’s life; I don’t think she even mentioned Angel’s name for a whole week!

* * *

Oz came over today to give me another guitar lesson. I pretty much suck at guitar (though Oz doesn’t say that of course), but I really like spending time with him because he doesn’t treat me like a kid. He treats me … well, pretty much the same way he treats everyone else. ‘Strange, but nice.’ That’s how Buffy described it.

Of course, the whole point of the lesson was to distract me from Buffy. This demon had infected her so she could hear everyone’s thoughts and it was driving her crazy. I don’t know why they picked Oz to ‘babysit’ (I hate that word!). Maybe it was just because he was the only one who wasn’t acting all weird about Buffy’s mind-reading thing.

Strange, but nice. And totally cool!

* * *

Wow. I had _such_ a busy summer that I barely wrote in here at all. Time to play ‘catch up’ on all the news.

Angel left after Buffy blew up the school (I wish she would blow up mine). Good riddance, I say. Buffy moped, of course, but I’m glad he’s gone: having him around just made her cry.

Cordelia left, too. She’s gone to LA to be an actress. Xander’s there too. I got a letter from him the other day. Well, OK, 'we’ got a letter, since he sent it to ‘The Summers Gals’. When Xander was on his way back from his road trip he stopped off there to see her. That was four weeks ago. I guess he isn’t coming back now.

It’s probably for the best. I’m sure I would have outgrown him.

* * *

Oz snuck me into one of his gigs. That was SO cool. And even cooler, he gave me a ‘Dingoes Ate My Baby’ t-shirt. And Mom, if you are reading this (you know you shouldn’t!), he was totally careful to make sure that someone was looking after me the whole time.

Now Buffy and Willow and Oz are at college, and Mom and I have the house to ourselves! Which is really good, now that we know where Buffy is, instead of worrying about her and if she is OK. Well, I think Mom worries, but not in a way that makes her lock me in the house all the time, like she did last summer.

* * *

Oz is gone.

Willow can’t stop crying, and every time I see her, I want to cry, too. I don’t know why he is gone, and no-one will tell me (as always!), but I think it had something to do with him being a werewolf.

Just one of the ways that Oz was cool: he was a werewolf, but he never made a big deal of it.

Before he went, he gave me one of his guitar picks. I made him promise to come back and get it, one day. He said he would.

I hope he is OK, and that Willow will be able to stop crying, soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice feedback is very much appreciated, of course.. :)


	2. Oz’s Point of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz in Los Angeles...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another chapter of Small Pebbles, Big Waves. :)

Ten minutes ago, I found a scrap of paper in the ashtray of the van.

_Moonlight blinds my heart  
She turns away, my own fault  
Small pebbles, big waves._

I wrote that six months ago, sitting on the side of the road out of Sunnydale, feeling sorry for myself. I might as easily have written it this morning.

Now, with lunch sitting heavy in my stomach, I just screw the paper into a ball and throw it back into the ashtray. While I was writing that haiku, I was losing Willow. Not because I slept with Veruca; Willow would have forgiven me for that, in time; but because I had to try and be ‘noble’ and ‘protect’ her.

Who did I think I was? Angel? There was no curse that said I couldn’t be happy. It was just fear that made me run from her. Fear of myself. I’d hidden things inside myself for so long that when they finally broke out, I couldn’t think straight. People have always seen me as Mr Calm, but every now and then, things get too much; especially when they are about Willow.

Now, of course, I’ve lost her. To someone I never would have expected. I hope; I genuinely hope; they are happy. The thought makes me smile for the first time today. Perhaps I’m not such a lost cause as I thought.

I start the van and put it in gear. The ramp onto the highway is less than a mile away.

I should make LA by dark.

The last time I came to LA, I found Xander and Doyle sprawled in the front office, arguing the merits of football teams while watching a game over a pack of beers.

“What’s with the Green Bay Packers?” Xander complained, “I don’t get their name. What exactly do they 'pack’, anyway?”

“Good point, but it’s not like the Broncos ride horses, right?” Doyle sagely replied, “Though that’s not such a bad idea now, is it?”

“Make 'em hard to tackle.” Xander agreed slowly, then frowned, “But what do they pack? That’s what I want to know.”

Cordelia snorted, not looking up from the magazine she was reading. None of them had noticed me yet.

“What I want to know is why either of you care.”

“We don’t, princess.” Doyle waved his beer in the air.

“We just know that Deadboy hates football.” Xander sniggered.

“Maybe they pack guns!” Doyle offered, abruptly.

“They’ll need to, to win this game.” Xander gestured at the scoreline.

“Hey guys.”

“Oz!”

“Oz!”

“Oz?”

A smile starts to form at the memory, and I let it. It’s time to stop holding things inside.

* * *

Finding Wesley at Angel Investigations is a bit of a surprise.

“Oz.” He jumps as he notices me, nearly dropping a folder.

“Hey.” I hadn’t meant to sneak up on him. To my own ears my movements sounded loud. That’s the wolf for you.

“It’s been a while.” He offers, at last, setting down the folder on a desk.

“Graduation.”

“Eh? Oh, yes. Since Graduation. You’ve been keeping well?”

I nod, glancing around. The place is a lot better organised than the last time I was here. And the smells have changed. I can tell that Wes is here a lot, and Doyle, but Xander’s and Cordy’s scents are fainter than they were.

“Things have changed.” I observe at last, to stop Wesley from adjusting his glasses again.

“Yes.” He fidgets with them anyway, “Doyle and I help Angel with the majority of his cases, now. Xander’s job doesn’t leave him a lot of time to assist us, and Cordelia’s career has recently begun to flower. They still keep in touch, of course.”

I nod again. It’s good that some of us are finding normal lives; the kind of life I guess I’m never going to have.

“They’ll be very pleased to see you.”

Wesley’s words surprise me. I’d been in the middle of thinking that it would be best if I stayed away. Leave them to that normal life. Guess I haven’t kicked the ‘noble’ thing, yet.

“Do you need their address?”

“Thanks.” I watch him scrawl the details on a piece of paper, and accept it with a nod.

“Should I tell Doyle and Angel you’ll be staying there?”

“Not yet.” I shrug, “I’m not sure what my plans are, at the moment.”

“You’ll let us know?”

“Sure.”

Right after I know for myself.

* * *

“You should have seen it, Oz.” Cordelia still waves her hands in the air when she gets involved in what she’s saying, “Angel and Doyle were just about ready to fight over who would get to kill himself disarming the bomb, when Xander unlocked the doors from outside and let us all out. He was such a hero!”

“Getting knocked unconscious while still outside the hold was just part of my cunning plan.” Xander hasn’t lost his sense of self-deprecation, “So that I would be able to save them at the last minute. Much more exciting that way.”

Cordelia swats him good-naturedly.

“Say what you like, Princess.” Doyle has had a few drinks, and his voice is loud but cheerful, “But I had no intention of getting m'self killed.”

“You punched Angel in the jaw.” Cordelia reminds him, before taking a sip of her own drink. Orange juice. It’s all she’s had all night.

“Damn near broke me hand, too.” Doyle nurses his knuckles like he’s still feeling the pain, “Boy’s got a head like granite.”

Which prompts the inevitable quip from Xander, and a gale of laughter from Cordelia.

I smile, settling back to sip a beer. It’s good to be among friends again.

* * *

“Does Xander know?”

Cordelia sneaks a glance at me as I dry, her hands busy in the soapy water of sink. Queen C, doing dishes. Not something I ever thought I’d see.

“How do you?” she challenges back, which answers my question.

I tap my nose, realise from her laugh that I’ve now got soap bubbles on it, and wipe it clean.

“I haven’t told him yet.” She admits, “You know Xander. He’d treat me like I was made of glass, if I did. And I need to keep working as long as I can. We need the money.”

“How long?” I ask, then hold up a glass. Cordelia points out the proper cupboard for it.

“I’m nearly three months gone.”

“Scared?”

She laughs softly,

“Petrified. This wasn’t planned. We were being safe.” She shrugs, “But it happened anyway, and I don’t want an abortion.”

“What about Xander?”

“After he recovers from fainting?” there’s a hint of the old Queen C in her smile, “he’ll be ecstatic.”

“Have you told anyone else?”

She catches my tone and sighs. “You mean Angel, right?”

I nod.

“As soon as I knew for sure.” She bites her lip, and glances back at the living room, where Xander and Doyle are fighting over the TV remote. “I needed to get us out of that work. I’m never going to hide what’s out there from this kid … but I’m not going to risk getting her killed. Or her father.”

“'Her’?” I smile.

Cordelia blushes,

“I don’t know for sure, but I can’t make myself think of her as an ‘it’, y’know?”

Seems like ‘normal’ lives are just as complicated as mine.

* * *

If I was going to stay in LA for any length of time; and Cordelia had decided that I was; then I was going to need a way to earn some cash.

First stop; Angel’s office.

“I can give you an advance, but I’m not sure how busy you’ll be,” he admitted, “something came up a couple of nights ago, with a blind woman, but until I can work out what —” he broke off as someone else entered the room, through the door behind me.

I turned, letting my eyes confirm what my nose had already told me. Young man, impeccably dressed, expensive aftershave.

“I need your help.” He tells Angel, direct and to the point.

“What do you mean?”

“I want out.”

There’s a beat where Angel actually looks surprised. Then he turns to me,

“Give us a minute?”

I nod, head back to the outer office and grab my guitar. Step one in looking calm: get a guitar. People always mistake nervous fidgeting for relaxation.

It’s a good fifteen minutes before they emerge. Rich guy pauses for a moment to look at me. I smell curiosity on him, but mostly fear. I doubt I’m causing it.

“Lindsey needs our help.” Angel informs Doyle, who snorts and shakes his head. The vampire turns to me, “Looks like I will have something for you to do after all, Oz.”

I nod. “Count me in.”

* * *

“Daniel, sweetie, could you check the speakers on the left side of the stage? There were ugly things being done to my medley, out there.”

I nod to Lorne and head over to take a look at the problem. It’s been almost twelve months since I came to LA, and I’ve spent the last six working at 'Caritas’, a favourite demon haunt and place of amnesty. It’s the kind of place where I’m more likely to attract attention because I look human than because I’m a werewolf.

Lorne’s an interesting guy. He’s a demon who can read people’s futures when they sing. We get on well. He’s a great talker, and I’m great at providing silences for him to talk into.

“How’s the song coming, Danny-boy?” he asks now, as I remove the back of one of the speakers to take a look inside, “Got that chorus worked out, yet?”

“Almost.” I check for the third time that the power is off, before reach inside the speaker, “Not that I have a band to play it with.”

“This is LA, dear boy, how hard could it be to form one?” I know without looking that Lorne’s sipping a Sea Breeze. Not only can I smell it, but he’d be talking a whole lot more if he wasn’t.

“None of my friends play.” I start putting the speaker back together.

“You may not have noticed, but my bar is frequently filled with musical wannabes.”

“Yeah, but I’m not planning to call myself 'Werewolf Dan and his Howling Demons’.” I’ve been spending too much time with Xander.

“Oh, such wit!” Lorne dramatically presses his hand to his forehead, “Such a powerful mind for a cute little package.”

“I’d take that compliment more seriously if you didn’t go home with a different girl every night.”

Lorne laughs and clasps me on the shoulder,

“What can I say? The ladies love a man with style.”

********************************

We’re busy that night, but unless something needs fixing, or someone wants some live accompaniment, I don’t have much to do until closing. So I sit at the bar, nursing a beer, watching a Vocah demon murder “Another One Bites the Dust”.

And then Lindsey comes on.

I’m surprised. Not so much that he’s here; it’s the kind of place he could come to meet clients; but that he can both sing and play.

He’s finished, and coming down from the stage, before I realise that I haven’t tasted my beer since he got up there.

“Golly, pilgrim.” Lorne meets him just a few steps from where I’m sitting, “Sure is good to have you back in the saddle.”

“Look, I got a crazy man’s hand here who wants to kill … someone, maybe me. What do you see?”

Lorne points at me.

“Two guys, one case, all coming together in a buddy-movie kind of way.”

We both stare at him, then Lindsey snorts,

“I’ve got a murderous hand on me and you’re telling me to team up with a guy who used to pal around with the vampire that cut mine off in the first place?”

“I’m telling you what’s what, sugar. What you do is up to you.”

And then Lorne walks away, leaving Lindsey and I to stare at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re liking this story so far.. :)


	3. Dawn’s POV Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Dawn’s Diary. (Also, as this is AU, there are some parts that are different from what happened in the show, of course.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all. :)

Buffy’s been acting like even more of a freak than usual.

It all started just after that demon split Riley in two: one a complete sap and the other this total steroid jerk. Buffy and the jerk had this _huge_ fight, yelling at each other. And then later on, Buffy yelled at the sap version, and he burst into tears. And then we got just one Riley back and he and Buffy yelled at each other some more.

Of course, when I asked her what was going on, she said I was “too young” to understand. I’m _so_ tired of that! I’m fourteen, not four!

They split up, and Riley ending up leaving to go work with the army again, and Buffy spent all her time moping around and complaining at me.

Then we found out Mom was sick, and Buffy seemed to go totally to pieces. I mean, I’m really worried about Mom — we all are. I even prayed for her. But Buffy totally wigged.

I guess maybe she was still upset about Riley, as well, and that’s what did it, but she started acting like she didn’t care about anything, anymore. I heard Giles and her arguing about it one day when I was doing my homework at the shop. He said it was like she had a ‘death wish’.

And then he said to Buffy that she should think about what her dying would do to Mom and me, and Buffy started crying!

I don’t know what it was all about (as usual, no one will tell me anything!), but it was bad enough that Giles asked Cordelia and Xander to come visit from LA. Cordelia was really big from being pregnant. She said she only had a month to go (in between complaining about her feet hurting, anyway).

It was cool to see Xander again. He’s changed, but he hasn’t. Like, when he was helping Cordelia he was totally grown-up and sensible, but then when she wasn’t around he did the Snoopy Dance for me, so he’s still a big goofball, too!

Anyway, Xander and Giles and Willow are going to have a big talk with Buffy. Xander called it an “intervention”.

I hope they find out what’s wrong with Buffy. I’m worried about her.

* * *

Buffy finally told us what is going on.

Or some of it, anyway.

There’s this super-tough demon chick named Glory, who is looking for something called “the Key”, which was hidden from her by some monks. Buffy said she doesn’t know why Glory wants the Key. (I think it is a key with a capital K. You know, like “The Key”. Anyway, it’s a big deal of some kind.)

Buffy also said she doesn’t know where the Key is, but she is totally lying about that. Right after she told us this stuff, she and Mom and Giles sneaked off and had this secret little conversation together. I think she was telling them what the Key is. She thinks she can keep it a secret from me, but I’m gonna find out.

Of course, knowing my luck, it’s probably my school. That’d be typical … if some super-demon came from the pits of Hell to save me from geometry, Buffy would be the one to stop it!

* * *

I got baby photos!

Xander e-mailed them to me. I’ve glued a print-out of the e-mail in here:

_From: xandaddy_

_Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 8:45 AM_

_To: dawnster; willow_

_Subject: It’s Alive!_

_Attachments:_

_My beautiful baby daughter is officially four days old!_

_Cordy and Jess are both doing fine. I still feel hungover from Doyle’s celebrations two days ago, but otherwise I’m great._

_Pictures attached. Lots and lots and lots of pictures. Angel got a bit carried away. (Okay, so maybe I did, too.)_

_All my love to everyone — we will try and come down after Xmas to show Jessica off!_

_Dawnie, give our best to your Mom. We hope she gets better soon — she has an almost granddaughter to spoil!._

_X_

* * *

The Watchers’ Council have been in town for a couple of days, now. They’ve been making Buffy really miserable. And the old guy in charge of them smells funny. All musty and dried up. I’m glad Buffy got a good Watcher, like Giles, instead of that guy.

Then on top of that, Glory came to our house!

It was really scary, though I did my best not to look afraid. She was here to make Buffy tell her where the Key was, but Buffy wouldn’t. Not even when Glory threatened to hurt me and Mom and all of our friends. That was really brave, but kind of awful at the same time.

After Glory had gone, Buffy ran to the bathroom and threw up. She wouldn’t tell me why. Then she said she had to see Giles, and she left.

When she got back, Buffy was really quiet. She wouldn’t even tell me what happened. I had to ask Willow, and she told me all about how Buffy had totally told the Council guys to either help her to get lost. I wish I’d been there to see that: I bet it was really cool.

Willow told me that the Council said that Glory is a _God._ How’s Buffy ever going to beat a God?

* * *

I think Buffy has a new boyfriend.

There’s this guy I’ve seen her talking to a couple of times. She always sneaks off to do it, too. I thought at first that maybe it was something to do with the Key.

Typical Buffy. There’s a God who wants to kill her and she’s chasing boys.

I managed to get close enough to hear her talking to him, one time. She called him “Orlando”. What kind of name is that? It’s almost as dumb as “Angel”.

* * *

A week ago today, we buried Mom.

I still can’t believe she is gone. Buffy seems even more messed up than me … I guess I’d kind of expected that she would look after me if Mom did die, but it’s more been the other way around. She just looks so lost and scared, and she barely does anything, anymore. I had to force her to eat, last night.

I know I always complain that she doesn’t treat me like an adult, but this is one time when I just want her to let me be a kid, and she can’t.

* * *

Oz came back to town.

It’s so good to see him, again. He and this friend of his (named Lindsey, which I always thought was a girl’s name) drove up to the house in this crappy old red truck.

I thought he had come to see Willow, but Oz said they had stopped in to make sure I was OK, after Mom died.

So I told him all about Buffy, and how she was acting, and how scared I was. I haven’t told anyone about that, before. Not even Giles or Willow. But I just couldn’t help it. I started crying so much and I don’t think I was making any sense, but he just held me and let me be a kid again, for a while.

Oz said that he and Lindsey would stay in town and help Buffy and me, at least until Glory was dealt with. He also said that he would talk to Buffy and try to find out what was wrong with her. I hope he can; when other people are around she always tries to pretend like she is okay. I think they know she isn’t really, but they can’t make her admit it.

* * *

_Dawn,_

_I wrote this here while you were asleep, because I wanted you to know everything that had happened, and I couldn’t tell you in person. You would have given me that 'little sister’ look and made me stop, and I have to do this._

_I know I haven’t always been the best of sisters to you. I can only say that I tried. I really did._

_I know who the Key is. I’ve known ever since the first night I met Glory. I rescued one of the monks. He’d been on the run from her for three years, but she’d finally caught up with him, just as he came to warn me about the Key. He was dying, but he told me everything._

_It’s me, Dawn. I’m the Key._

_A few months after we came to Sunnydale, a vampire killed me. I was dead for several minutes, before Xander revived me. Or that’s what we thought._

_In fact, I came back to life because the monks chose to use my body as a vessel for the Key. They knew that Glory was looking for it, and they believed that this would be the best way to protect it. They had learned of a prophecy that said I would die, and they were ready when it happened. I guess that explains why I felt so strong when I came back, and how there could be two Slayers at once._

_But as strong as I am, Glory’s a God. I can’t beat her. And I can’t let her get the Key._

_Last week, I found out some stuff about the Key, from some people who were trying to stop Glory from getting it. I found out that for her to be stopped, the Key has to be destroyed._

_When I fought the vampire who killed me, I knew beforehand that I would die. I thought it would be easier to do that for a second time. It’s not._

_Oz has agreed to look after you. I told him everything, right before I started to write this note. He and Lindsey will take you to Dad, or anywhere else you want to go._

_I’ve left Mr Gordo on your bed. Please take care of him for me._

_Love Always,_

_Buffy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice feedback is very much appreciated as usual.. :)


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